My pregnancy is progressing so smoothly that sometimes I forget I am pregnant – until I look in the mirror or try to put on a pair of pants. I passed my glucose screening, had my antibodies retested, and received a RhoGam shot because I am Rh-. Lulu is kicking and moving more and more every day. Sometimes she puts both of her feet under my ribs and pushes – that isn’t fun. She seems to kick the most when we are out in the sun. We have decided on a name (I swear we aren’t naming her Lulu!), but have made the decision not to share it with anyone until she is born. I want her to be the first person other than Chip and myself to hear her name. My nesting instinct seems to be in full force – of course, according to Chip, there has never been a time when my nesting instinct HASN’T been in full force. He insists that I “nest” any time I have been away from the house for over an hour. He’s probably right. Last Sunday we made progress in cleaning the two upstairs rooms in preparation for moving Chase’s room and making way for the nursery. Monday I rearranged furniture, cleaned, and hung photos in our living room. Today I began the monumental task of cleaning our bedroom. I want it to be a relaxing space for us as my pregnancy comes to a close and in the months after the baby is born. I know I am going to need an oasis. Right now I have clutter. We have decided on September 27th as the date for our Tennessee baby shower that my mother and sister are throwing. It is going to be a “drop in” shower. Chip and I are registered at Amazon.com. Please don’t feel like you have to bring a gift to come to the shower. But please DO bring a bead large enough for me to string on a silk cord – I want to have all of you with me when this baby is coming.
As I get closer and closer to the end of my pregnancy, I have begun looking for any fears or misgivings that I have about giving birth. What I have discovered is that all of my fears are directly related to having a hospital birth. I am not afraid of pain and I am not afraid of childbirth. Both of these things seem perfectly natural to me and I know that I am strong enough to have this baby the way women have been having babies for centuries. I am, however, terrified of giving birth in the hospital. I am afraid of unnecessary interventions, unnecessary medications, and the high rate of cesarean sections in hospital births. I am afraid of the cold, sterile atmosphere. I am afraid that I will not be allowed to labor in the way my body wants to.
To combat these fears I am making a list of questions to ask my midwives:
What is the cesarean rate at WMC (where I will be giving birth)?
What is your personal cesarean rate?
How often do you find the need to induce birth? To speed up labor? What methods do you use?
How long will I be allowed to labor naturally at WMC?
Will my movement be limited? Do I have to be hooked up to an IV and fetal monitor?
Will I be allowed skin to skin contact with my baby immediately after birth?
Will I be allowed to breastfeed before the baby is taken to the nursery?
Does WMC allow a healthy baby to stay in the room with her parents?
I know I will add to this list. I have a lot of worries. And I have one complaint. I am tired of people telling me that it is useless to complete a birth plan – damn it, I want my midwives and nurses to be aware of what I want. This is mine and Chip’s and my daughter’s birth, and I have a right to make some decisions. I know that complications may arise and things may not go as planned, but it is just as likely that I will have a smooth birth with no complications. After all, I am young, in good health, and have had a very healthy pregnancy. And my head is in the right place. So, I have decided, I will just ignore those people who insist on telling me not to fill out a birth plan. And I will continue ignoring people who tell me that I will decide I want pain medicine once my labor begins. And I will continue ignoring people who insist on telling me horror stories about childbirth. I’m not interested in you. Be nice, or I WILL climb up on my soapbox.
That is all. Next time I will have a more positive entry, I promise.
A
Journal for Baby 
Oh man. That’s classic “You’ll seeeeee.” ( http://offbeatbride.com/2010/01/fear-mongering-youll-seeeee ) Do what you want, man! No plan at all seems like it would be so disempowering! (Like, this is one of the biggest experiences of my life, and I’m just going to passively let it happen to me and let everyone else decide….No way!) Surely things often don’t go according to plan but geez, isn’t it better to have at least thought all of that through?
Do you ever read Offbeat Mama? They talk about this kind of thing a LOT.